


Wrist Sundial

by jademark



Category: Original Work
Genre: ah?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-21
Updated: 2019-07-21
Packaged: 2020-07-09 21:24:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19894573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jademark/pseuds/jademark
Summary: This was a stream of consciousness exercise. I may update it. Maybe.





	Wrist Sundial

Look! Over there! Do not look at this story. Look at my butt instead.

On my butt this story is written. Darn, I should have planned this more carefully.

A medieval minstrel comes into view. He is a secret fanboy for Garfield, but he’ll never tell you that. He doesn’t notice you’re there at first. He glances at the sundial on his wrist. “My 3 o’clock is here. Oh wait, that’s you!” He slumps down on a nearby chair. “I forgot my instrument.”

Are you willing to wait for him to go get it?

He waves his hand in dismissal. “No, it’s okay. I left it at home which is miles away. It would take me 3 hours to walk there.”

Fancy a…

“Oh!” The minstrel yells in almost an inhuman shriek. “They don’t call me Peter the Fuck for nothing. I’ll show you how escalators work.”

But… that’s not why you’re here, is it? And you don’t even know how electricity works yet, do you?

“Don’t underestimate me. I’m going to tell you a story.” He absentmindedly rubs his lower tummy in thought and his brown locks sweep across his forehead as he exposes his neck for a second. “Now, have I started yet? Ah, yes. Serotonin. You’re going to need to sit down for this one.”

But i don’t see another chair. Do you have…

“Sit.”

Sit on his lap? Sit on the floor? You decide to sit on the floor, because you sure as hell don’t want to sit on Peter the Fuck’s lap. It’s like a playground for unwanted birds.

“I’m going to tell you a story about Bender, that robot from Futurama. Because we all know that robots are allegories for the human experiences. Metal bodies are surrogates for human expression and freedom, or lack thereof.”

This is not what I signed up for, Peter, you pretentious fuck. But it’s okay. Futurama didn’t last for very long and this would probably be like watching a new episode. This opening sequence would probably have the phrase,

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!! Stomp on Bug Master before he steals my wife with his precious Ferrari.”  
Or something like that.

Peter the Fuck knows he has your attention.


End file.
